Lady of The Lake
by CrowNoYami
Summary: He knew that nothing could never come of them, but he needed acceptance and there was only one place he knew where to find that. His heart may belong to his king, but his soul belong to the Lady of The Lake. Warnings: Mentions slash, heartbreak, and death


_The wind lightly blew_

_On the surface of her face_

_It calmed his soul_

_This beautiful place_

_With her arms open_

_He chose not to wake_

_Instead he gave himself_

_To the lady of the lake_

**Lady of the Lake**

He could remember the day that Arthur became king like it was yesterday. He had stood off to the side, and watched as his prat of a prince turned into the greatest king Albion would ever know. There had been a huge celebration, even with the last king having died not long ago. A feast had taken place, followed by dancing and of course drinking. There had been speeches made by his most loyal of knights, the knights of the round table as they were known as.

Gwaine had the most ale of course, as was his nature but he was able to stand enough to dance with one of the court ladies. Lancelot didn't drink much, instead he watched as Gwen and Arthur spoke quietly next to each other. Merlin himself found Lancelot's side and together they looked at the one that changed their world. It was different for the two men of course, after all Lancelot knew that his love felt something for him in return.

Do not misunderstand Merlin knew when he fist noticed his feelings that nothing would come of it, but he would remain at the side of his king. Merlin also knew that a soul would never know of his love, not his friends or even Kilgharrah, it was his secret to bare. Instead he chose to simply observe in silence, to watch as his love fell for another. Looking to his side he saw that Lancelot had the same problem, the same heartache.

It was no wonder when he ended up in the young knights chambers that night, nor the next. However after their second night together Arthur was once again wondering where his manservant had gotten to. They never spoke of it, but Merlin could see that it only brought them closer, allowed for a place of healing. During the marriage it didn't hurt as much when Lancelot took him again. They gave each other comfort when it was needed, when they couldn't handle the blackness anymore.

Eventually however Lancelot the noble knight that he was no longer was satisfied with their arrangement and it was broken off. It was around that time that Merlin noticed that his destiny was not over, after a year of being on the throne there were no changes in the laws. Instead he had to watch as person and person were burnt, hung or drowned for using magic. There was no more then when Uther had ruled Camelot however he had believed that it would stop once Arthur was king.

After thinking on the issue for several months he came to answer that should have been so obvious. Why would Arthur, a man only harmed by magic wish to see it restored to the land? There was not on magic-user that Arthur knew of that did not wish him harm simply because of his birth-right. Looking at his own reflection in the mirror that he was starring into while cleaning in Arthur's rooms he thought about a solution.

His options were limited, there was no way that he could simply tell the man that he held magic. No matter if Merlin was his friend or not, Arthur would feel betrayed and have him killed on principal. No, he could not come to Arthur about the issue himself. Looking around the chambers he came to his third source who could ask on his behalf. Surprisingly he had managed to keep a close friendship with Gwen even after she had married the man that he loved.

When he asked her of her opinion of magic she had spoke honestly, that she believed it depended on the person using it. Not one to wish for fighting Merlin had asked her if she would speak to Arthur. He asked her to mention that the ones that used magic against him were doing so because they wanted to be a part of Camelot, not because of his place on the throne itself. It took several months for Arthur to consider the law on magic, and slowly bit by bit he changed it.

Merlin had been able, unlike most to see what it had cost Arthur to change the laws on magic. Had it not been for the good of his country then he knew that Arthur would have kept the laws, no matter if he believed in them or not. It was magic that had torn his family apart, that had caused his father to go into insanity. The loss of magic had been his fathers greatest pride, his best accomplishment in his mind, and to throw that away... knew Arthur felt horrible.

That had been, he supposed when things began to change around the castle. Arthur spent more and more time working on the current laws, having only really changed a few of them. He wanted to undo the wrongs of the kings before him, to change it so that everyone would be happy and kept safe. Gwen, Merlin noticed however didn't seem to enjoy being looked at secondly to his kingdom and before long she left Camelot with Lancelot.

This betrayal had torn Arthur, had ripped him apart from the inside, and it was only Merlin there to piece him back together. By that time Merlin had already been promoted to Court Sorcerer and Magical Representative. He had his own chambers not far from Arthur's in case there was an attack, no matter what Arthur said about protecting himself. As he tried to help Arthur heal, Merlin noticed that he was falling even more in love with the man.

Then one day, years after Gwen had left he found himself under the man he loved for so many years. It had been wonderful, glorious and everything he had imagined it would be. It wasn't until the morning after, when he had been willing and wanting to unite with his love again that he noticed that something was wrong. Although he had wanted nothing more the the man beside him, Arthur had ordered him to leave, to never speak of what happened again.

Ale was what he had blamed his lack of judgement on, that he truly didn't wish to have the warlock but his queen. In a moment of desperation Merlin had confessed his love, his need for his king. And in return he was answered with a sad smile and a shake of the head, a command to take the day off. In the next week Merlin tried to convince the king that he wished for no one but him.

In return for his trouble, for his love, he was punched in the gut, hard. That was the last that Arthur would hear of him and his love, Merlin decided in that moment. The look of regret wasn't enough to stop him and with only a letter explaining which he left to Gwaine to deliver in the morning, Merlin left. He travelled for a long time on horseback, until he reached the one place he knew he would not be rejected.

The water was cold, he noticed as he stepped into the lake, but once he wast almost to his chin he could feel her arms. There was no fear as she whispered inside of his mind of the comfort of the love that she would be able to give him. And without thinking again about the king that rejected him he dunked his head under the water. His heart he knew would always remain with his clot pole of a prince. But the rest of him, his soul he knew.. would now belong to the Lady of the Lake.

**Disclaimer:**** I do own Merlin... although I did name my puppy after him ^_^**

**A/N:**** In all honesty I never thought that I would post this, I wrote it for NaNoWriMo. I was looking for another story and deiced that I would edit this up a bit and post it. Thank you very much for reading.**

**With love,**

**Mari-chan **


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